Saturday, 12 June 2010

James Franco is a god amongst soap duds

Have to admit my knowledge about James Franco is seriously lacking... which for a media junkie like me is well...unheard of... Basically I know who everyone is and what they've been in. I'll research the name of that black guy who always turns up at weddings and funeral drink ups in the Queen Vic if you leave me alone for long enough. There is no standard of ridiculousness I will not plummet to, my pop culture voracity knows no humane bounds. So clearly Franco is criminally good looking, so easy on the eyes you forget you're even looking at him. I know he was in Milk, which I still haven't managed to see, and on these meagre parcels of info I've managed to conjure the vague image of him in my head as some modern renaissance man, artist- cum sex symbol- meets beat poet impersonator- who should have been 90s slacker-hero in Party of Five/My So-Called Life. Turns out this beautiful boy who is half Spiderman hero, half Byron on the moors is in General Hospital?! You know, that tawdry way past its expiry date soap that no-one quite believes will ever be allowed to die like Neighbours or Home and Away (wouldn't you feel just a little dead inside confronted with the brutalism of its non-existence, it'd be a little like staring time in the face...and you know where time leads...death...that's right confrontations with mortality and no one likes that do they?! so much easier and happier to maintain the illusion that if Neighbours never dies we won't either) So anyway, James Franco is a soap star when he's not kissing one of the greatest actors of all time (Sean Penn...not Sean Combs although his turn in Get him to the Greek looks inspiring, so inspiring i go into a yogic state of prayer when the trailer comes on telly just to avoid seeing his face contort into speech attempts) BUT I just discovered that Franco may be taking on a more substantial role in my life in the upcoming months as he stars in 'Mystery White Boy' a biopic about that white boy with soul (if you don't know you some Jeff Buckley then you're missing a near religious experience...a good one I assure you. NOT that Tina Turner in buddhist chant mode after a beatdown too many from Ike that was somehow induced outside the movie What's Love Got to do With it and in my living room when Diddy's face appeared) Franco will also be starring in Eat, Pray and Love

a film with a trailer that made me moist with morbid anticipation of what will inevitably be a most horrific and veritable cheese platter... just the stuff for a saturday afternoon when you can't be bothered to do something cultural and middle class like go and see:

Henry Moore exhibition until Sun 8 Aug at Tate Britain, Millbank, London SW1P 4RG

Anyway, now I've told you what you should do to not be me, back to James, a man clearly after my own heart, a man who understands the value of soap drama:

'He described his upcoming return to the show explaining how his tortured artist character Franco tries to get revenge from enemy Jason Morgan, who is currently played by actor Steve Burton. Franco recreates a set of Port Charles to lure Jason to California and then films the last moments of his life before he kills him… as his ultimate art piece.
WTF is this shizz?? Is anyone supposed to take this seriously??
When asked about filming the upcoming scene, James replied, "I am probably more excited about this than most things I've done."
Really? REALLY?!?'

Read More: 

James Franco Breaking News and Gossip |

Yes really Perez!! Whilst some people wisely grew out of the idea some school teacher espoused about soaps at best serving the role of contemporary Shakespearean drama I did not. This teacher most probably failed his PHD, for this teacher the 70s never died, Bob Dylan never sold out and high grade is hard to find now his dealer is in Barbados for the summer..this teacher exists, this teacher was one of my teachers. Enough about liberal education James Franco is not just an oil painting, he's a soap fanatic and as the years roll by I realise more and more that that is all a girl like me needs in a man...that and a moment like this:

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